Losing Your Obsession With Work

     So you have your career and everything is going great. Let me be the first one to congratulate you and say, 'Job well done!' It's amazing how good it feels, isn't it? You have stability, happiness at last in a field you are fit for and peace of mind knowing you've reached the top...for now at least.     
      What happens when you've been 'all about the job' for too long? It's OK, right? You're happy and successful. You feel great. Until someone approaches you with this, 'I need to talk to you about something. I'm concerned that you're becoming another person that I don't know. We use to hang out more. We use to laugh and share stories about family, kids and life. That seems to be gone now. It's getting to the point that I don't enjoy our time. It makes me uncomfortable.'
     Well, I had that talk with a friend the other day. It's what having a career does to you if you let it. In my opinion you have a lot to gain and a lot to lose. You have to try to find balance. If you take work home with you or if you take home to work you don't have that balance.
     Success comes in so many forms, doesn't it? Sometimes in massive, obvious ways like winning a contest or a pennant in sports. Sometimes it comes in small, unnoticeable ways like potty training your child or learning to play an instrument. Whatever it is it changes your life whether in big or small ways. How much you let it affect you is up to you.
     I  spoke with a friend this weekend about how much her career has changed her personality. I'm not sure if it's the job or the stress that came with it. There are times where she's much more stressed than usual, but she's incredibly happy in what she does. There are parts of the job that require her to be more direct, have all the answers and continually perform at a high level of success.  There is room for error, but taking that error and turning it into success is part of her job. She has a tough job. No doubt a job like hers had some affect on her personality. In her case it takes her longer to 'come down' after a long day. It's harder to sit at home and unwind with family and friends and talk about life. She admitted she finds other people's lives a bit boring. She finds intellectual stimulation in her career. She's always wanted to be successful at what she does and in that she finds joy. What's wrong with that?
     We talked about how she finds time to unwind and she doesn't do much of anything. She does work long hours, mind you, but I encouraged her to find a way to peacefully unwind. Working as hard as she does and the stressful demands of her job causes her to sit at home and do nothing, or turn off all devices in the house and cook dinner for her family. I can understand that. My favorite way to unwind is to talk to my husband about work until dinner, eat dinner and go to bed after vegging in front of the T.V. No joke. I, too, need a hobby! I told you I could relate.
     Truth is, it's our responsibility to the loved ones around us to adapt when we get home. We can always bore people to tears with our work stories until family stops calling and friends 'defriend' us on Facebook. (Oh, how Americans hate that!) So here's a bit of advice:
1. Don't share work stories with friends when they ask, 'So, how's work going?' Just say 'Fine' and talk about what a blessing it is to be with them and not at work. Now is not the time to tell them your daily struggles, how a project is going and when you get your bonus.
2. Find a hobby. I've set the date for my hobby that is outside of my usual Spring yard work that I enjoy. This hobby will last throughout the year. I've put my husband in charge of keeping me on schedule once the busy season, for me, is over.
3. Reach out more. Regain some lost friendships. Join a social network where you can catch up on what everyone else is doing to keep from being so isolated. I quit Facebook because I got irritated how obligated I felt to an Internet website (which I still do), but now it keeps me from isolating myself.
4. Plan mini-vacations and excursions. Take a drive and find new places on your days off. There's nothing hard about this at all. Just grab the keys and find an antique store or a new mall. Drive an hour away to the middle of know where and take pictures.
5. Exercise cures just about everything. I plan on getting out more in May (again, I'm less busy then) just to get my blood pumping. Join a gym or better yet, jump on your bike and just go.

     In the end it'll be worth it. You can't keep yourself in a closet and close the world off and focus on work only. That's not the way it's supposed to be. You need interaction with real people, even if it's on Facebook.
     My friend took my advice fairly well. She has one of those personalities where she can 'become' the job. Now that she's aware of what other see it'll be easier for her to focus on life that is happening around her. This time she can join in and live life to it's fullest.